Sheltered

Last night some friends of ours came over to visit. We started talking about South Africa which is where they are from. We have known Michael and Sylvia for some time now. They had to leave their two children aged 2 and 6 in order to come here, which breaks my heart every time I think about what they must be going through on that account. Michael is here working on a PhD in Education, with hopes of working toward transformation of the South African educational system. We have occasionally talked about what life was like in South Africa for them, but none of our previous conversations even remotely prepared me for the discussion we had about life in South Africa last night.

I don't know that I'll be able to remember all the details of what Michael told us, and even if I did there isn't room enough to tell it all. The discussion centered on the treatment of himself and Blacks in general in South Africa. He said when he was a child, at meal times, the white people sat down and ate first. Then all that was left over was thrown into a big bowl and set outside for his dinner because they were not allowed in the house. If they ever did come into the house, they had to take off their shoes and not touch anything. He said he never would have been allowed to sit up at the table with white people like he was doing with us. He said that they were not allowed to eat off dishes or use cutlery or glasses. If they did use any dishes, they were usually taken away from the dogs and filled with whatever they were giving to him, unwashed.

The white people lived in town and the black people lived in a township. They were not citizens of South Africa and they were all issued passes that they had to have with them at all times that were primarily used for employment records but were also used to keep track of them and where they were. If he visited family in another township, he had to visit the authority there and show them his pass to let them know he was there.

Michael is an extraordinary man and has overcome great obstacles. He graduated from high school right about the time apartheid ended and was fortunate enough to be sponsored to go to school and become a lawyer. However, it was discovered who was sponsoring him and the company was bought and liquidated.

Many years and obstacles later he found himself as the black Headmaster of a white school with employees and students who would say and do unspeakable things to him. He told us that he had decided never to retaliate or let them make him angry.

He asked for leave to pursue his education here in England. But since he has been out here they have made serious efforts to professionally punish him. They have tried to have him demoted and cut the funds he has been counting on for his degree. He said in South Africa, if you want to be educated, it creates problems because people accuse you of arrogance and conceit. Then they try to punish and persecute you in effort to put you in your place.

I think what added to my astonishment at his relation of all these circumstances to me was the fact that I am in the middle of reading "Uncle Tom's Cabin". Much of what he described to me is extremely similar and in some cases, exactly the same as the conditions that existed for blacks in America pre-Civil War!

It was honestly surreal for me to have a friend of mine sitting at my table and revealing all of these experiences to me that I have only read about in history books. He almost had me in tears, but he tried to keep the conversation light by laughing at my shock and dismay.

He related one experience where he was given the chance to speak to a large group of women about his experiences and how they can prepare their children to be successful in the post-apartheid South Africa. He said that he was able to gain their sympathies and achieve understanding. Sometime later he ran into the husband of a woman who had attended the meeting. The man recognized who he was and mentioned that he was clever to win over so many women, but that he couldn't be fooled, Michael would never be his equal. Michael responded in a manner that showed his obvious superiority to that man in every conceivable way.

It absolutely blows my mind that people like that exist. I know they are usually taught those attitudes in the environment they are brought up in, so I guess I can understand how they came to be like that, but that will never make it okay. It grieves my soul to hear of such atrocities. I have never felt that way toward another human being and have never witnessed those circumstances first-hand. Somehow in my head, even though I knew the truth to be contrary, I thought that the world was past such drastic, degrading bigotry. I guess I need to wake up to the reality that this is much more common than I would ever wish to acknowledge. At times, I have thought myself unsheltered from the world and the sort of things that go on in it, but I was very foolish and naive. I have led a greatly sheltered life. Sheltered from the true extent of sacrifice, suffering, and atrocity experienced by so many others.