Boy Crazy Two Year Old

I have a boy crazy two year old. The other day I walked into my room and she was sitting on my bed, leaning over the dresser and kissing the picture on my new Joseph Smith Manual!

The other day when we told her the missionaries were coming over for dinner she immediately said "Mommy, where's my dress! Mommy, I need to find my dress!" I told her she couldn't wear a dress and the next thing I know she's completely undressed trying to pull her dress down from the hanger in the wardrobe anyway. I told her she couldn't wear it and she then got a new idea. She said "Mommy, I want to wear my night gown". She wouldn't put up with anything less than her pretty pink one. Then she came to me with a brush and made me do her hair! And she had to top it all off with her pink slippers, or as she calls them, her glass slippers. Then she went to wait in the window seat watching for them!

Oh man are we in trouble!

I purposefully decided that I didn't want to own any Disney princess movies because I don't like the way they portray women and "true love". I didn't want to be a tyrant about it and I didn't care too much if she saw them, I just didn't want to own them. Despite the small efforts we have made in that respect, we have probably countered them in other respects and she has nonetheless developed a complete obsession with princesses, true love and boys!

I know she's only two years old. I'm not really too worried, it's mostly just funny.

What do you think about this? Were any of you like this as children? Do any of you have children like this? Do you think we're in trouble? What do you think about the disney princess movies?

I mentioned once before, but I changed the settings on here so that anyone who reads this can leave a comment if they enter their email address. So yes, if you are reading this and you have anything to say, please share.

They Finally Got Me

Sorry, I had this posted for a while without an explanation, when I thought I had included it. It probably didn't make much sense especially with the title, just delving right into it like that. Here is what I thought I had written in the beginning:

I have gone for 12 years without speaking in Church, but they finally pegged me down for it. I chose to use a lot of personal experiences in my talk and because of that I decided to add it to my blog which is my only type of journal for the time being.

I didn’t plan on getting married. I didn’t plan on not getting married, but I just figured since marriage is not always foreseen, that I would just make plans and live my life until the opportunity arose. Well that’s just what I did. I was very adventurous, I did a lot of solo traveling. I met lots of new people and new made friends. I had many wonderful opportunities to serve others and my heavenly father, but at the end of the day, it was just me. I was the only person I truly had to worry about. I never really got lonely, I quite liked it, but I began to notice that I was growing selfish. I didn’t want to be selfish so I began praying for help to become unselfish.

What happened next I believe was the very unexpected answer to that prayer. I’m not sure why I didn’t expect it, but I didn’t. I started dating Brent. We both started off the relationship somewhat unattached. I knew he wanted a serious relationship and he new that I would soon again be moving. We called things off after about 2 months and I was off again, this time to California. I had been gone for less than a week when I got my first phone call from Brent and from that point on we talked almost every night for 3 months. It was pretty obvious where we were heading. Only, the direction in which we were heading had me absolutely terrified.

This is where my original plan got me into a bit of trouble. Now one can definitely think and plan for marriage too much, but my problem was that I didn’t plan or think on it at all. I was enjoying most everything there was to enjoy about being single and when suddenly faced with the prospect of marriage, I just didn’t know what to do. I wanted to continue enjoying myself and carrying on with my plans into which marriage just didn’t fit at the time. I was also afraid of the way the world refers to marriage as “settling down”. I loved Brent very much, but I just couldn’t bring myself to feel ready for such a step and I was at a loss as to what I should do.

Well you all obviously know the ending of the story, but I am going to suspend how that ending came about for a few moments while I deliver the rest of my talk.

The subject I was asked to speak on is “The Blessings of Raising a Family”. There are all sorts of blessings to be experienced through raising a family like those that come from sacrifice, perseverance, missionary work and fulfilling and magnifying our callings. One great blessing to be had is of increased spiritual development. Having a family creates an environment that fosters spiritual growth and progression like nothing else can.

But there are other blessings too, blessings that I can’t quite characterize. I know personally that having and raising my little girl is very rewarding and brings me great joy, but when i think of why that is, I just can’t seem to list the reasons much beyond her smiles. But then trying to tell someone that cleaning dirty diapers, spit up, and all other sorts of unimaginable messes, dealing with depravation of sleep and even your own thoughts, handling monumental tantrums, public embarrassment, struggling to teach a child when all they seem to want to do is defy you in every possible way, is worth it because she smiles at me. It all makes me sound a bit looney.

I had an experience that illustrates this perfectly only a few weeks ago. But before I get into it, let me preface it with telling you that my pregnancy with Zariah was awful. It was by far the most miserable experience of my life. Since then I have always said that I definitely want more children, but I never, ever want to be pregnant again. So a few weeks ago my husband and I were reading about a very controversial growing trend in India. It is the “outsourcing of wombs”. Now I believe that being a surrogate mother for a woman who cannot carry a child herself is an incredible, selfless service. But this is a little different, people have found that for a fee, they can forego the pains and inconvenience of pregnancy and provide in some cases a lifetime’s worth of wages for a woman in India who is willing to rent her womb through IVF for nine months. This would basically be the perfect solution to my desire to have more children and yet not be pregnant again. But instead of being excited by the prospect, I was overwhelmed by a great sense of loss at the thought of unnecessarily giving up that experience. I was a little surprised by my reaction, but it only brought me to realize that the small rewards like the early developments of my relationship with her by feeling Zariah’s first movements and knowing that she could hear my voice made 9 months of sickness and pain worthwhile.

The Blessings of raising a family are not always as obvious as some of the shallow-natured disadvantages, but they run deeper, feel of such intensity, purity and joy as be to be at times, beyond all description.

In a talk by Jeffery R. Holland entitled “Because she is a Mother”. He says “One young mother wrote to me recently that her anxiety tended to come on three fronts. One was that whenever she heard talks on LDS motherhood, she worried because she felt she didn’t measure up or somehow wasn’t going to be equal to the task. Secondly, she felt like the world expected her to teach her children reading, writing, interior design, Latin, calculus, and the Internet—all before the baby said something terribly ordinary, like “goo goo.” Thirdly, she often felt people were sometimes patronizing, almost always without meaning to be, because the advice she got or even the compliments she received seemed to reflect nothing of the mental investment, the spiritual and emotional exertion, the long-night, long-day, stretched-to-the-limit demands that sometimes are required in trying to be and wanting to be the mother God hopes she will be.

But one thing, she said, keeps her going: ‘Through the thick and the thin of this, and through the occasional tears of it all, I know deep down inside I am doing God’s work’.

Now if you ask me this mother is a little overly stressed about being a mother, but I do know where she’s coming from and her simple statement is what it comes down to for me. The number one greatest blessing that I have experienced is the complete peace and joy that I have in knowing that I am doing God’s work. I don’t think there is a greater peace or joy to be had than that which is experienced when one has the perfect knowledge that they are right with god and about their father’s business.

Now back to how I chose to marry Brent. At this critical juncture I remembered a lesson I once had in Young Women’s. It was all about sacrificing something we want now for something we want more. I loved this lesson because it always helped me to keep an eternal perspective. When I thought about all the things that were making me shy away from marriage I realized that they were all things I wanted “now” or in that moment. When I thought about the things that were enticing me to marriage, I realized that they were all the things I wanted more. And among those things was what has always been the deepest desire of my heart; to be doing whatever it is the lord would have me do. The lord wanted me to have a family.

The lord wants us all to have families just as he always has. In “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” it says, “The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force.”

In an article in the Liahona giving insight into the proclamation it says “Bringing children into the world is certainly not convenient. Most often it involves physical pain followed by great sacrifice and selflessness. But the blessings of keeping God’s command to rear children are some of the sweetest blessings He offers. Indeed, in many ways parenthood gives us a foretaste of godhood.”

Choosing to get married and start a family with Brent is the best decision I have ever made and by choosing to do so the lord has blessed me beyond anything I ever imagined. I am so grateful for my family and for the potential I have to be with them forever.

My Daddy

Today is my daddy's birthday. I am a daddy's girl and I'm not afraid to admit it. To me my father is undoubtedly one of the greatest men on the face of the planet. Because it is his birthday, I've decided to share one of my favorite memories about my father.

I was 18 years old and out running some errands when I got a flat tire. It was my third flat tire in less than three months. There was a problem with my jack at the time, so I could not fix it on my own. Even worse, I was still riding on my full size spare because I hadn't had the time to fix the last flat tire. So, for the third time in three months I called my dad and sheepishly told him what had happened. I felt awful for bothering him again with something I should have already taken care of. He was able to take some time out of his work day to come help me. When he arrived he popped off the most recent flat tire and grabbed the other one while he was at it and threw them both into the back of his truck. Then we climbed into the cab and took the tires to be patched.

I remember being really upset that this had happened again. It had ruined my day, made me late for work and forced me to trouble my father again. I told my dad for probably the third time that I was sorry to have troubled him and made him come so far out of his way to come get me. He stopped, looked at me and said "Loni, I'll always come get you."

To this day, I cannot relate that experience without my eyes watering. I know he will always be there to rescue me if it is ever needed and I love him for it beyond description.

Northern Wales

We made a trip to Northern Wales recently. It was WONDERFUL! One of the best parts was to be able to get away in a car of our own. I can't help but feeling couped up sometimes, not being able to go hardly anywhere farther than I can walk with a two year old in tow. I am not at all complaining about our area or location, but knowing that there is amazing countryside 15 minutes away in any direction and not being able to see or explore it makes me feel a little couped up.

So yes to have a car for 24 hours and being able to take a very long drive as a family was a very welcomed event. We just took the day easy and enjoyed the drive. We went out to Caernarfon (pronounced sort of like ka-nar-von). Which is a city and a castle with the walls that enclose the surrounding village still intact as well. It was amazing.

This is me and little miss at the castle entrance.


Brent and Zoe in the castle.


Here is a better view of the inner part of the castle.


The exterior.


I don't have any pictures of the interior the castle, that was neat too. After an afternoon of exploring the Castle and village, we hopped in the car, passed throught this town: llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch and then drove out to Holyhead in hopes of catching this view of the Irish Sea at sunset.


Well our view wasn't quite as peaceful as it is in this picture. There was a storm and the winds were incredibly strong and cold, but it was still breath-taking and worth the little hike through some stormy weather.

'Can't Cook, Can't Clean'

'She can't cook and she can't clean'. This, among other things is what my father told Brent when he asked permission to marry me. Truth be told, he had good reason to tell Brent that. For two or three years before we got married I was living out of boxes and suitcases whenever I was home and no matter how much I tried, it was never as organized as I wanted. As for the cooking, even I didn't know I could cook until I got married.

When I got married, I started cooking more often and actually having fun with it. Without realizing it however, I seemed to have kept within a certain comfort zone. I never really felt like I knew how to cook. I couldn't even bake bread, roast meat or make a proper roux.

Since we've been here however, I've been stepping outside of my comfort zone quite a bit and feel like my skills are increasing all the time. Among other things I have worked on precisely the three things listed above. I can actually make a roux now. I am working on the bread thing. I think my expectations are a bit too high. I want to learn to make bread like they do at a good bakery. I have been consoled upon learning that several of the breads I would like to make require specific types of ovens and would therefore be impossible for me to achieve with my mini hob. I have discovered an amazing recipe for dinner rolls, which makes me happy. Brent and all six missionaries can't seem to get enough.

I've roasted a few chickens now. That one I did on New Years Eve almost felt like an initiation of sorts. Like an invisible fairy was floating over me dubbing me with a wand or something saying "You are now a cook". Ridiculous I know, but I was so proud of myself. For the first time I felt comfortable saying 'I know how to cook'. A little. Actually, just having written that, it still feels funny. It's still really more like 'I know how to follow a recipe' and that's pretty much it.

Whenever I am cooking, I never really feel entirely responsible for it when the dish turns out good, if I didn't make it up. Almost like I'm tracing the work of a famous artist. It's like I'm a copy cat. I guess I just feel almost like I'm cheating because all I'm really doing is copying what someone else has done. But then again, isn't that how some artists develop their talents; by copying the work of master painters? So I guess if you think of it that way, I'm just a cook in training and by continuing to follow good recipes I am learning from the "masters".

Whether I'm a real cook or not, I have been having fun stepping outside my comfort zone and I am getting better which makes me happy.

Oh yeah, and my Father really isn't a jerk. When my father asked my grandfather's permission to marry my mom. My grandfather sat him down and said "Alright, I'm going to tell you all the bad things about her and if you still want to marry her, you have my permission." My Dad thought he would do Brent the same favor. He said she can't cook, she can't clean and something else that both Brent and I have forgotten over the past few years. He could have said other things that Brent still hasn't told me, but if that's the case I probably don't want to know anyway.

I don't know if these revelations were given before or after the threats issued while he was polishing his guns. Wait that makes my dad sound like a bit of a jerk again. He's really not. Anyone who knows my father knows that his threats to hunt Brent down if needed, were done with a secret sort of glee as one of the most awesome jokes he would ever get to play. Simultaneously acknowledging that if Brent ever gave him a reason, the joke would suddenly become deadly serious. Thankfully Brent recognized my father's good nature and while not doubting his being serious if the occasion called for it, mentioned to me afterward that he had a hard time keeping a straight face through it all.

New Years Cooking Experiments

New Years crept up on me and it didn't hit me that it was New Years Eve until the morning of. We didn't have any plans and there was no way I was going to ask someone to babysit on a holiday at the last minute; no matter how much I wanted to go out and see how Manchester celebrates New Years. I knew we would end up staying in and watching movies, but to make the night special I decided to mix it up and get creative with dinner. Instead of making spaghetti, I chose to roast chicken for the first time. I have never roasted any kind of meat before. I wasn't even sure I knew how, but I decided to figure it out. I brought out a recipe I had been wanting to try for a while and set to work.

For dinner we had Honey curried roasted chicken with roasted potatoes, onions, carrots and apples served over rice. Wow, it was spectacular. It was just what I wanted to set the night apart. After dinner we put Zoe down, washed up and then decided to experiment again. I haven't been able to make my favorite cookie recipe because it calls for a very specific ingredient that I can't find here. So we have been hunting for a new recipe. We have made cookies twice since we've been here and both times I have been sorely disappointed. Last night however, I discovered that This recipe will do just fine. I'm not sure if I like it better or not, but it is pretty amazing. It is definitely the best recipe I've used outside of my regular one. They are very vanilla-y (michelle, I know that will sell you right there). They are great right out of the oven and if kept in a ziplock they are fantastic the next day too.

After we made the cookies we watched a few movies. At about 11:30 we brought out some crackers and cheese along with a yummy non-alcoholic wine. At midnight we sat in the window seat to watch the fireworks over the city. We could hear people cheering and waahoo-ing in the city center. My inclination toward people and parties made me long to be out in a crowd, but at the same time I was completely satisfied being in the window seat with my sweetheart to ring in the New Year.

Happy New Year everyone!